Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Okay, its been six months since I last posted here.  I've thought about doing so quite often, but couldn't decide what to post.  The problem was that I had a lot of things on my mind, but I wasn't sure that I should post them.

The last six months have not been easy.  There was a misunderstanding with a family member which left me in tears every time I thought of it. Things are better now, but I am overly careful about what I say in case I upset them.  I really care about this person and wish I could just relax and be myself around them, but I'm afraid to even joke with them in case they take it wrong.  Maybe our relationship will continue to improve; I certainly hope so.

A family member over six hundred miles away had serious health concerns, and I couldn't be with them.  They were going throught some really rough times, with both their health and other problems, and I was unable to help them.  I was feeling like I was letting them down, although they did not seem to feel that way.

My health has slipped somewhat over the last months, also.  For the first time, I have had to go to oxygen full time; twenty-four seven.  About the only places I go regularly are to restaurants.  (That will be the last thing I give up. I love to eat out)  Cooking is hard if I have to stand over the stove too much.  Crock pot meals are the easiest for me to prepare. With all the dog hair and dirt and dust the dogs track in, cleaning is not easy for me.  The dust really curtails my breathing.  When I do go shopping, it has to be stores which have those electric shopping carts or wheelchairs for the cutomers.  It is so embarassing when I think I am hiding my condition pretty well, and then have the clerks or other workers ask me if I am okay and if I need help. I went into a library near our favorite steak house recently, and when I started out one of the workers inquired if I were okay.  I told her that I was fine, but she insisted on going ahead of me and opening the doors for me.

I am trying to make myself be more active, and trying to avoid as much stress as I can.  Inactivity and stress both have very negative effects on my breathing. Weather also affects breathing, as anyone with COPD is well aware.  We had a very hot and humid summer, so I am looking forward to a cooler fall.

Enough complaining.

My high school fifty year reunion is next month, and my daughter and I went shopping for a new outfit for me. The first store had a wheelchair Terri could push me in, and the second one had an electric cart.  I got a blouse at one store and slacks at the second one.  I found out that you can drive the electric cart into the handicap fitting room, but backing it out is not easy.  At one point I almost had Terri pushed up against the wall, but we made it out of the room with no injuries.  It was even good for a few laughs. I haven't shown the blouse to Wayne. It is so different from anything else I have, that I am a little nervous about it.  Terri likes it, so I suppose it will be okay.

The last six months have not been all bad.  One evening we met Terri and Don at Terri's dad's place to pick peaches.  I sat on the tailgate and supervised. We all had a really fun time.  I'm glad that Wayne and Jim get along so well. 

Other good times were with Garret and Kalee when they made it home to visit.  Of course, we never get to see them as much as we would like, but they always have so many friends and family members to visit, as well as other places the two of them want to go. 

Garret will be going to Iraq, probably in March.  I keep telling him that I am not going to sign the permission slip for him to go on the trip, but I don't think the Air Force will accept that.  He seems to be looking forward to it, so I will just count the months he is gone and say prayers for him and the others.

It may not seem like it, but I have cut this way down from what it could have been.  As usual, I will try to do better about keeping it up to date.  And Anna, I may put in some more about our childhood.    


Anna said...

So good to read your "ramblings" again. I'm sorry about the strained relationship, praying with you that they will be mended soon. I enjoy getting a peek into your life, you have such a way with words and make your life events so interesting. I love connecting with you on here! I was just thinking of you the other day, thinking I hadn't seen you on fb for quite sometime, but now that I don't do farmville, I don't always see your posts. Hope with the cooler weather, your breathing has improved. Joe used 6 portable oxygen tanks the last 4 weeks instead of his normal 3, he has the stationary oxygen concentrator for nights, so I know the hot & humid weather had an effect on him. Getting off here now to read today's blog, keep blogging!! Wish there was a way you could link it up with facebook :)

Terri said...

The blouse is a different look for you, but I think it looks great! Shopping was fun. I guess if you're not sure about the top, we could go again. : )
I sure hope the fall is easier on your breathing. I know it's not easy.